What It Means to Be a Neurodivergent Affirming Therapist (and How to Find One)
What Is a Neurodivergent Affirming Therapist?
A neurodivergent affirming therapist is a mental health professional who recognizes, respects, and supports neurodiversity. Instead of viewing autism, ADHD, or other forms of neurodivergence as deficits to be “fixed,” they honor these differences and help clients navigate the world in ways that work for them.
Neurodivergence is a valid way of existing. If you’ve ever felt misunderstood, dismissed, or pressured to mask your neurodivergence in therapy, working with a neurodivergent affirming therapist may be a game-changer.
Signs That a Neurodivergent Affirming Therapist Could Help You
Wondering if you’d benefit from seeing a neurodivergent affirming therapist? Here are some signs that it might be the right fit:
You often feel overwhelmed or exhausted from masking your true self.
You’ve had past therapy experiences where you felt misunderstood, invalidated, or pressured to conform to neurotypical norms.
You struggle with sensory sensitivities, executive dysfunction, or emotional regulation and want support that respects your needs, not forces you to change.
You’re seeking strategies that actually work for your unique brain, rather than one-size-fits-all advice.
You want a therapist who understands and encourages unmasking, stimming, and embracing neurodivergence as an identity, not a disorder.
Characteristics of a Neurodivergent Affirming Therapist
Not all therapists are trained or experienced in neurodivergence, so it’s important to find one who truly aligns with your needs. Here’s what to look for:
✔ They Validate Neurodivergent Experiences – They acknowledge your lived experiences without trying to change or “correct” them.
✔ They Use Strength-Based Approaches – They focus on what works for you rather than emphasizing what’s “wrong.”
✔ They Encourage Unmasking – They help you reconnect with your natural ways of thinking, behaving, and self-regulating without judgment. They also understand the role masking has had in your life and that it might feel unsafe or scary to fully unmask and that’s okay too.
✔ They Normalize Stimming and Other Self-Regulation Strategies – They create a space where stimming, movement, and other self-regulation tools are welcomed and encouraged. A neurodivergent affirming therapist might even use their own stimming techniques (e.g., fidgets) during session with you.
✔ They Understand Sensory and Executive Function Challenges – They accommodate your needs in sessions (e.g., allowing stimming, adjusting session length, using clear and direct communication) and understand there is not a one size fits all approach.
✔ They Offer Flexible, Personalized Support – They help you develop strategies that fit your unique way of thinking and interacting with the world. They might even offer helpful referrals and resources to better support you.
What to Expect in Therapy
Working with a neurodivergent affirming therapist is a collaborative, validating experience. Here’s what you can expect:
A Safe, Judgment-Free Space – You won’t be asked to change who you are. Instead, therapy focuses on helping you navigate life in ways that honor your neurodivergence.
Tailored Coping Strategies – Practical, neurodivergent-friendly tools for managing stress, sensory overload, executive function challenges, and emotional burnout.
Support for Unmasking and Self-Acceptance – If masking has taken a toll on you, therapy can help you reconnect with your authentic self and explore what unmasking means for you.
Recognition of Stimming as a Healthy Regulation Tool – Rather than discouraging stimming, your therapist will support and normalize it as a natural self-soothing strategy.
Accommodations That Fit Your Needs – Whether it’s flexible scheduling or sensory-friendly adjustments, your therapist should make therapy accessible to you.
How a Neurodivergent Affirming Therapist Supports Parents and Couples
Neurodivergent affirming therapy can also help parents and couples navigate their relationships, parenting approaches, and personal growth in a way that respects and honors their neurodivergence.
For parents, therapy offers a space to reflect on how their own sensory and emotional needs impact their experience of parenthood. Many neurodivergent parents struggle with overwhelm, burnout, or anxiety—especially when navigating their child’s transitions, milestones, or societal expectations. A neurodivergent affirming therapist provides support by helping parents process these emotions, address their own sensory needs, and develop strategies to care for themselves so they can show up for their child in sustainable and compassionate ways.
For couples, therapy provides a space to navigate neurodivergent-neurotypical relationship dynamics or neurodivergent-neurodivergent partnerships with deeper understanding and connection. Sessions may focus on improving communication, addressing differences in sensory needs or executive functioning, and unpacking how past experiences shape attachment and relational expectations.
How to Find a Neurodivergent Affirming Therapist
If you’re looking for a neurodivergent affirming therapist in your area (or online in your state), here are some tips:
Search for therapists who explicitly mention neurodivergence in their specialties or website.
Look for terms like “neurodivergent affirming,” “autism affirming,” or “ADHD-friendly” in their bios.
Use therapist directories that are exclusively for finding a neurodivergent affirming therapist (there are also options if you’re looking to work with a therapist who is neurodivergent too). Here are a couple:
Sensitive and Neurodivergent Practitioners Directory by Julie Bjelland
Neurodivergent Practioners Directory by Thriving Autistic CLG (an autistic-led non-profit)
Ask direct questions about their approach to working with neurodivergent clients during a consultation call.
Check their stance on masking, stimming, and accommodations—a truly affirming therapist will be supportive, not dismissive.
Services I Offer as a Neurodivergent-Affirming Therapist in Orange County & California
If you’re searching for a neurodivergent affirming therapist in Orange County (or generally the state of California), I’d love to work with you! I offer:
Individual therapy for autistic and ADHD adults and parents
Support for perinatal mental health, parental burnout, and sensory regulation
Strength-based approaches that honor your neurodivergence
A safe, validating space to explore unmasking and self-acceptance
Couples therapy for neurodivergent individuals and their partners
