Managing Sensory Overload: Strategies for Highly Sensitive and Neurodivergent Parents
Parenting is a sensory experience—constant noise, touch, movement, and unpredictability. For highly sensitive parents and neurodivergent parents (those with autism or ADHD), the daily demands of caregiving can quickly lead to sensory overload. This isn’t a flaw or a failure—it’s simply your nervous system processing a high level of input.
If you’ve ever felt like one more sound will send you over the edge, like your skin is buzzing from too much touch, or like your brain is shutting down from the chaos—you're not alone. Sensory overload is a common experience for autistic parents and ADHD parents, and it can affect your ability to be present with your child and care for yourself. But there’s hope. With a few strategies and mindset shifts, you can start feeling more grounded and empowered as a parent.
As a neurodivergent affirming therapist, I work with parents to build sustainable strategies that honor their unique sensory and emotional needs. This post will walk you through practical, real-life strategies to help you navigate parenting with sensory overload, both in the moment and long-term, so you can show up for your child without struggling with feeling like you are running on empty.
What is Sensory Overload?
Before we dive into strategies, it’s helpful to understand what sensory overload really is. In simple terms, sensory overload happens when your brain is overwhelmed by more stimuli (like sounds, sights, smells and textures) than it can process effectively and comfortably handle at once. It’s like having too many browser tabs open at once, slowing everything down. For neurodivergent parents and highly sensitive individuals (HSPs), this experience can be especially intense and draining.
Everyday parenting tasks, like being touched repeatedly, managing multiple conversations, or dealing with unpredictable schedules, can become overwhelming. This might lead to exhaustion, shutdowns, irritability, or the need to retreat/isolate for a while.
It’s important to note that sensory overload is not a failure on your part as a parent. It's simply your nervous system's way of saying, "I need a break." The goal is not to suppress your sensory experience but to support it with strategies that allow you to regulate in a way that works for you.
Short-Term Strategies for Immediate Relief
When you’re in the thick of sensory overload, focusing or problem-solving can feel impossible. Here are some strategies that may help in the moment:
Create a Sensory “Reset” Space: Designate a spot in your home (even if it’s just a corner) where you can go to reset. Include comforting sensory tools like soft textures, noise-canceling headphones, dim lighting, or a favorite weighted item. Even five minutes in this space can help calm and recalibrate your nervous system.
Engage in Stimming or Sensory Regulation: Stimming—repetitive movements, sounds, or fidgeting—can help regulate sensory input. Whether it’s rocking, jumping around, using a chewable necklace, or listening to the same song on repeat, embrace what feels right for your body.
Internal Family Systems (IFS) Grounding: Instead of using traditional grounding techniques, try checking in with different “parts” of yourself. Pause and ask:
"What part of me is feeling overwhelmed right now?"
"What does this part need from me in this moment?"
"Can I take a deep breath and bring in a sense of curiosity and kindness toward this part of me?” If it feels possible - “Can I offer it some reassurance, like I would to a loved one who is overwhelmed?"
By acknowledging and tending to overwhelmed parts rather than pushing through, you create internal safety and regulation.
Use Deep Pressure or Compression Tools: Weighted blankets or objects, compression clothing, or tight hugs (if wanted) can provide proprioceptive input that helps regulate your system. It can help reduce anxiety and increase feelings of security, making it easier to manage overwhelming moments.
Step Away When Needed: Sometimes, you just need to step away for a moment. Ask for help (this can be tough for people-pleasers, but it’s so important!) or let your child know you need a “timeout.” You’re not abandoning your role. You’re ensuring you can show up in a regulated way. If possible, step into a quiet room or put on headphones to lower the input for a few moments.
Long-Term Strategies for Sensory Well-Being & Overload Prevention
If sensory overload is a recurring issue, this might be a sign some more long-term adjustments could be helpful. Here are some ways to support your sensory needs proactively:
Unmasking and Self-Acceptance: If you’ve spent years masking your sensory needs (pushing through discomfort to appear "fine"), this might be an area to explore deeper with a neurodivergent affirming therapist. It’s okay to create a lifestyle that aligns with your needs rather than forcing yourself to fit into environments that feel overwhelming.
Build a Sensory-Friendly Home:
Adjust lighting - Harsh lights can be overstimulating, so softer lighting options may be helpful.
Minimize clutter - Visual noise can contribute to overwhelm. Creating calmer spaces can support regulation.
Establish quiet zones - Having a designated retreat space can make a difference when sensory input becomes too much.
Create Predictable Routines (as much as you can): Many neurodivergent parents find comfort in predictable routines. Structure and visual schedules can reduce decision fatigue and create a sense of stability.
Use Sensory Tools and Fidgets Throughout the Day: For neurodivergent parents, sensory tools like fidget toys, calming essential oils, hats and sunglasses indoors, or noise-canceling headphones can help regulate sensory input throughout the day. Experiment with different tools to find what works best for you.
Delegate and Communicate Needs: If certain tasks regularly lead to sensory overload, explore ways to delegate or adjust them. This could mean sharing responsibilities with a partner, setting clear boundaries with family, or finding alternative ways to meet your child’s needs that don’t push you into sensory burnout.
Seeking Support from a Neurodivergent-Affirming Therapist
Parenting with sensory sensitivities can feel isolating, but you don’t have to navigate it alone. Working with a neurodivergent affirming therapist can help you build coping strategies that align with your unique nervous system and parenting style.
If you’re looking for a neurodivergent affirming therapist in California, I specialize in supporting neurodivergent parents, highly sensitive people, and those navigating perinatal mental health challenges. My approach is rooted in self-compassion, validation, and finding practical ways to honor your sensory needs.
Learn more about my approach here or schedule a consultation to get started.
Final Thoughts
Parenting as a highly sensitive parent or neurodivergent parent comes with unique challenges and can feel overwhelming at times. But remember, it’s not about being perfect—it’s about taking small, meaningful steps toward self-care and creating a routine that works for you.
You deserve to feel grounded and at peace while parenting, and with a few adjustments to your environment and routine, you can begin to manage sensory overload more effectively.
If you’re struggling with sensory overload or other aspects of being a neurodivergent parent, I’m here to support you. If you’re located in California, Illinois, or Missouri, feel free to reach out for a consultation.
